Brothers Shimm

Called by God…

…and I’m fit for nothing else except to serve Him wholeheartedly.

When He called me and called me a son, I lost any ability I had to live my own life.

I cannot live my own life anymore…I’d die a slow and agonizing death inside.

Thank You, Father, for making the path You set before us a one-way street. If I want to live, there is no way but forward, walking with Your Spirit empowering me to trod in the steps of Your Son.

Soli Deo Gloria.

Hallelu-Yah.

Cleared My Internet History

Rewind. Let’s start again.

Please God, I want to start again.

Fulfillment

“But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God; for He has prepared a city for them.”

-Hebrews 11:16

I desire a better country. It is not something that I should, in and of myself, desire, but that I do desire deep in my soul.

After exploring the pleasures of this world, King Solomon says in Ecclesiastes, “Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.”

But… at the end of the book, he says… “The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person. For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil.”

In the end, that’s the only thing that’s worth doing. Serving God.

I pursue my own ends, and find myself feeling guilty and depressed.

I seek my own desires, and find no pleasure.

Nothing in this world will satisfy me.

Why can’t I get that through my head?

Embrace God

I have no idea what it means, but I felt God telling me to do it.

I feel strangely motivated.

Work, Switchfoot, and Maturity

Well, me and the bro talked for a solid 2 hours last night after ACF large group. 

We both sin a lot in the area of work. I know some people struggle with other kinds of sins, but it feels like on my campus at least, people just don’t fight this fight… There are an incredible number of factors that play into this and I won’t rehash them. We talked for probably an hour or so just about all the things that God has shown us during this battle.

I felt like one thing was particularly important, namely that this really lies in not caring about other people. For me, it is the idea of of mission that drives a desire for self-discipline, and for him it was more of not being selfish (iirc). Why does an athlete lay aside all encumbrances? because he’s heading for a goal. That’s the image I think of. But also, think about the people. In not working hard, my own life does not serve other people. But in working hard, my life is used to help others. This is so crucial to the gospel—that Jesus lived this life, died that death for people who really couldn’t contribute to him in any way—that it’s almost something I can’t quite fathom yet. In any case, while we are alive here, we exist to make disciples. And that means we should work hard. 

Switchfoot came up as being particularly descriptive. (We both agreed Relient K was definitely a high school thing. We had such different high school experiences, and we’re so different, and yet we still fought essentially the same battles… weird.) Foreman says,

I wish I had what I needed
To be on my own
‘Cause I feel so defeated
And I’m feeling alone

And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I’m a plane in the sunset
With nowhere to land

And all I see
It could never make me happy
And all my sand castles
Spend their time collapsing

And I feel stuck
Watching history repeating
Yeah, who am I?
Just a kid who knows he’s needy

This is exactly how both of us feel. Me with my lack of any plans for post-graduation life, him with his complete lack of desire to do this schoolwork thing among all the other difficulties in trying to do life on his own. Switchfoot is an incredible band, and I appreciate Jon Foreman’s work (and all the rest of them too) tremendously.

Maturity is such a strange thing. In so many ways, I sense that I’m almost exactly the same as I was before. But that’s the incredible thing about seeds—not everything grows at once. Things take time. In other ways, I know that I’m so completely different than I was before. And that gives me hope. And hope gives me life. God touches my despairing, heavy heart—and in so doing, he makes it light. And as I breathe in and out, I hear his voice; I answer him, though I hardly make any sound. And even though the words coming out of my mouth seem so inadequate, I say them all the same—

God, I love you. 

(Maybe Relient K isn’t completely high school.)

—bshim

My Strength

on my own power, i am irresponsible, selfish, inconsiderate, (and just generally unloving,) a hypocrite, a liar.

praise the LORD.

i don’t have to live on my own power.

hallelu-YAH.

Right Now…

I wish I had what I needed
To be on my own
‘Cause I feel so defeated
And I’m feeling alone

And it all seems so helpless
And I have no plans
I’m a plane in the sunset
With nowhere to land

And all I see
It could never make me happy                                                                       And all my sand castles
Spend their time collapsing

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
Let that be enough

…

And I feel stuck
Watching history repeating
Yeah, who am I?
Just a kid who knows he’s needy.

Let me know that You hear me
Let me know Your touch
Let me know that You love me
And let that be enough.

-Switchfoot, “Let That Be Enough”

I Am NOT. DEAD. YET.

Hope lives.

The Difference

Other things can prolong your life, but nothing can SAVE your life except Christ.